Darling, you are the only exception.

funeralhome420:

i hate that i literally cant tell if im ugly or not and i cant tell if im really fat or just like kinda fat i literally cant tell and sometimes ill be like “im just being dumb im pretty good looking” and then ill be like “wow im being so egotistical i definitely look like shit what am i talking about” like i just…. dont know and it bothers me so much cos it’s something i can’t understand 

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albrie:

wHEN PEOPLE ASK YOU WHAT YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION IS AND THEN JUDGE ME WHEN I SAY IT’S MY MACBOOK WOW SORRY DID YOU WANT ME TO SAY A LOCKET MY GREAT AUNT ALICE’S GRANDFATHER’S SON HANDCRAFTED FROM KING ARTHUR’S SWORD WELDED WITH PHOENIX TEARS AND THE BLOOD OF A WOOD NYMPH NO OKAY I FUCKING LOVE MY MACBOOK NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WATCH HOW I CAN SCROLL WITH TWO FUCKING FINGERS OKAY THAT”S BETTER THAN ANY LOCKET

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dolllarbills:

*when a girl takes a nude and it gets leaked*

everyone: omg she’s such a whore she shouldn’t be sending inappropriate pictures to random guys wow

*when a guy takes a nude and it gets leaked*

everyone: wow the girl who leaked it is unbelievable like he trusted her and she did that to him wow……….

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whenever people are talking about shit and they say “the key is to be outgoing and open up and independent” i feel like i have a million eyes glued to the back of my head cause that’s so not me

S